The girl opened her ocean-blue eyes and saw that she was laying in the middle of a forest, on a small spot covered with soft, greenish moss, to be exact. And that was probably the only place where you could lie like this, because all her eyes could see was trees all around and nothing else, even the sky was covered with sharp treetops. She stood up and examined her laced, cream nightgown, which wasn't muddy at all and she could see beams falling down and leaving light, friendly spots on it. That's how she decided that it was morning or an early noon. The girl lifted her eyes up from her nightgown to take a more careful look around the forest. There were wide, branchy firs and these were the only trees that she knew the name of. Other trees seemed like a mystery for her. She couldn't even remember if she had ever seen something like these majestic lords of this wood. The closest to her, there was a tree who had a snow white trunk. Not like birches have ones with black stripes, but literally white, as white as a cloud. It had tangled branches, but the strangest thing was the leaves that were growing on those mysterious branches. They were star-shaped, rainbow colored with petit houses on them! The girl couldn't believe her eyes, she closed them, counted to ten and as she caught the corner of that white trunk as she opened her eyes, she thought she must have been hallucinating. She took a few little steps barefoot, feeling the softness of greenish moss under her toes, and extended her shaking hand. She hesitated for a tenth of a second, but then she finally touched the petit house of a read leaf, as slightly as she could muster. She bounded backwards like a scared puppy when a miniature creature came out of it. As she was back to her new home, that was the mossy forest floor, she curled herself in a ball, cuddling her knees with her still shivering hands. Her wavy, caramel hair were falling down her face, but she didn't even notice that. She felt so lost and confused. Miniature creatures? Houses on leaves? Rainbow-coloured leaves? No, that didn't seem normal to her. Suddenly, she heard a weak, mystic voice spreading from the thicket of the mysterious, crazy forest.
"Maribelle... Maribelle... Ma..Ri..Belle..". That was what her ears caught. After she had been enchanted by wonders of the forest, now she finally started thinking what exactly she was doing here, in this ridiculous place. What was the worst, she couldn't remember anything. She couldn't even remember her name. Was the name that was coming through the trees hers? She wasn't sure. If it really was her name, why would the forest scream it to her? Was there someone just playing with her? But why would someone do such a vicious thing to her? Then she felt a pinch somewhere near her heart, that she automatically grasped that place. A little, silver, heart shaped necklace slipped through her fingers on the mossy spot. She slowly lifted it up and opened it. Inside of the medallion, there were two places for photos. One place was empty, but beneath it there was a male name written. Diego. Suddenly some pictures flashed in her mind. The images of a tall, well built man giving this medallion to her, but it was too blurry so that she would be able to see his face. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks and such an emptiness inside of her. Somehow this name, Diego, meant very much to her, only now she couldn't remember what was the bond between them. The girl wiped her tears away and looked carefully on the other place of the medallion. There was a photo of a girl that looked exactly like her and under it there was a name written. Maribelle. Now she knew at least one thing. Her name. Besides that, she didn't know anything. She sighed deeply and clasped the medallion around her neck, feeling that this thing means a lot to her, deeply in her conscious. Maribelle was now sitting in the middle of a forest, that didn't seem normal at all. "At least, that weird voice is gone," she thought to herself and took a deep breath. But it was too early to feel calm. Suddenly a crackle echoed in the the depth of the trees, it seemed to be quite near to her mossy spot. If trees were like that, what could be the animals in such a forest? Unfortunately, the sound was moving closer to her and Maribelle froze, expecting the worst to happen. Even though she couldn't remember any single reason to wish to survive, she still felt the urge to live, to protect someone who needed her more than air.
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I'm sorry I've been such an ass lately, I've seen you gals posted lots of things, i've read them, now I will have to leave a comment, but later, because now I have my dad back and I have some things to do. o___o Anyways, I really want to hear both of you two opinions about this shit I've just written. It came up to me just today. I have many ideas of continuing, but firstly i need to know if any of this makes sense. Even now I feel like i haven't written so many things here that i wanted to, but now it's too late. :o So yeah. Should I continue?? & sorry for my spelling mistakes, i'm sure i've made a lot.
-Berry. The shalalalalala girl.
You should continue. No, more than that, you HAVE to continue, it's an obligation now! I do love it, it's splendid, you're an undeniable talent at writing, essays, all the work that you do! The story is floating, the forest is magical, I especially admire the unique many-layered tree ides. You've got great characters and great plot settled! At least a great start! Don't bother yourself with the course of actions too much now, all will come with time, believe me. You can't come up with the complete story line at once even if you have a sleepless night, thinking it out the whole time! Also, some good decisions come out while writing, so you could also try that, as a person who has a good writing sence (if you know what I mean). You just have to take it slow and think it well while doing so too. You know, back in the days when Lou used to still write me, well, she's sent me a lot of great stories and chapters of them now, and when I stated that I first plan things out in my mind and only then lay it out, she seemed surprised, as if she'd never done that. She, she's great at writing, but I think you're not a teeny weeny little bit worse, just not as experienced. So, you could obviously have that talent too... And, what I always think out usually never comes out on the paper EXACTLY the way I wanted it, cuz I just have a habbit of saying a thing once, and then doing the totally opposite in real life, maybe cuz my mind sums it up and finds the analized way a little too boring already. (that's basically a theory of how the theory of doing things and the actual doing of things never come together in my life) I don't know if you get me, but some things I do know:
ReplyDelete1. You've used some pretty freakin' awesome new and not new and difficult and beautiful words in this. And you totally inweaved them into the story.
2. Therefore... No gramatical errors... Kill me if you've found one. :D
It's weird seeing the queen / my-personal-language-advisor say she's made lots of them. I mean, WHAT UP? o.O
3. Maribelle will be a legendary name. Believe me. I see it.
4. Tam tam tadam... Ah, right!
The story's a splendour! (let's call this a sentence, okay? :D)
*****OVER ----------------------------Ki
That is so...
ReplyDeleteAwesome, well-balanced, fantastic, unusual, skillful, easily-picturing-in-your-head, mysterious, realistic, natural, Spanish!, warm, easy-flowing, mossy(mmm...)!
Just no words. You have improved in both english and writing a lot to my mind. It's so unusual to read your descriptions of nature! Kiri, what witchy ritual have you performed to make her write about rainbow-colored leaves and miniature houses? I enjoyed all the words resembling French, and I just love some of your phrases, especially "light friendly spots" and "mossy spot" (of course.)!
You should definitely continue! And don't you dare stop writing.
Liquorice
(I feel a bit weird writing L. as it associates with Death Note)